Adventures in Adulthood
by Dragon Empress
Summary: *UPDATED! Whoo, go me!* Ch 6- The gang travel to Vault for Ivan's birthday. But, like everything with this lot, it's not gonna go smoothly...
1. And it begins

ME: Well, here it is, the sequel to Seven Days. You did ask for it afterall...  
  
CHIBI GARET: Yes, these people really do need some help if they want to read more of your writing.  
  
ME:(Holds up a Monopoly board.) Boo!  
  
CHIBI GARET: (Runs off screaming.) Keep it away! For the love of Mars, keep it away!  
  
ME: (Laughs evilly.) Now, the disclaimer!  
  
ALRIGHT PEOPLE, HERE'S THE PLAN. WE'RE GONNA SNEAK INTO THE CAMELOT HEADQUARTERS, SITUATED SOMEHWHERE IN JAPAN I THINK, THEN WE'RE GONNA STEAL THE RIGHTS TO GOLDEN SUN! MWHAHAHAHAHAHAHA, THEN AND ONLY THEN WILL GOLDEN SUN BE MINE!  
  
ME: Right then, about this further travesty against humanity that is called by some fanfiction. It's gonna be primarily about Garet and Jenna's wedding, but chances are I may continue past that, hence the title, 'Adventures in Adulthood'. If you guys want I'll keep adding chapters to this 'till the mere mention of my penname gives you a seizure, of sorts...  
  
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It was a lovely, sunny day in Vale. The sky was a beautiful, clear blue, and there was a gentle breeze that was just enough to keep the inhabitants of the sleepy mountain town from dying from heat stroke.  
  
Safe to say, it was a pleasant change from all the rain they'd been having recently. And of course, the aforementioned villagers were quick to put this break from all the miserable weather to good use...  
  
"Is it just my imagination, or does that cloud look like Alex in drag?"  
  
"Yeah, it does!"  
  
Isaac and Garet were lying on the roof of Isaac's house, looking up at the sky. Just to the right of them was a rather large hole that they were supposed to have fixed hours ago. But it was too hot to work, and procrastination was the latest word Garet had discovered in his ever-useful dictionary.  
  
"Check it out, that one looks like the Venus lighthouse!"  
  
"Oh, that is so cool!"  
  
"And hey, doesn't that one over there look like a man getting hit over the head with a frying pan by his pissed-off fiancée because he's not doing his goddamn job?"  
  
Garet squinted. "Nah, it looks more like a seagull to me...ow!" The frying pan connected hard with his head and he sat bolt upright, frowning at his attacker. "And a warm and sunny hello to you too, Jenna my love."  
  
Jenna scowled. "Don't come across with all that love guff. You agreed to patch Dora's roof, and we're here to make sure you do it!"  
  
Isaac looked around quickly. "We?"  
  
"Yeah, we." Mia climbed up the ladder and stood beside Jenna. "So get working!"  
  
The blonde Venus adept swallowed nervously. "Yes, dear."  
  
Garet gave a loud, false cough that sounded suspiciously like, "Whipped!"  
  
"Oh please, Jenna's had you under her power since you were eight years old." Isaac retorted, smirking inwardly as his best friend coughed and spluttered. "Don't worry though, I'm sure she wont hit you so hard once you've been married thirty-or-so years."  
  
"I make no promises." Jenna picked up a bucket of water and poured it over the guys' heads. "Now, like Mia said, get to work!"  
  
Both men were on their feet like a shot.  
  
"Where did that bucket come from?!" Garet demanded furiously, water dripping down his face like rain.  
  
"It doesn't matter, just get on with fixing the roof. You promised you'd come with me to tell Felix that I'm kicking him out of the house after this is done."  
  
Ah yes, Garet had almost forgotten about that. It was less then three months 'till their wedding and Garet had made it clear, in no uncertain terms, that he was not going to live with both his crazy new wife and his equally unpredictable and insane brother-in-law. The two siblings had the tendency to cause grievous bodily harm to Garet from time to time, and he felt that living with both of them would be like swimming in the sea up at Imil around Christmas time, wearing nothing but a chain mail cap and a pair of pink, fuzzy-bunny slippers.  
  
Both situations were likely cost him his dignity and his life.  
  
So, seeing as Garet didn't have a house of his own and living with his family was just not an option, Felix was the one who had to go. Jenna had been preparing herself for kicking her brother out ever since Garet had proposed it seemed, but just hadn't gotten around to actually doing it. Of course, she could only put it off for so long...  
  
"Garet. Hey, Garet...Garet!" Jenna's irritated voice snapped the other Mars adept out of his reverie almost instantly.  
  
He stared at her, confusion evident in his amber eyes. "Erm, what were we talking about?"  
  
Jenna sighed in frustration and barely constrained herself from dishing out another dose of the frying-pan-pain (Just where did that frying pan come from anyway?) to her witless fiancée. "We were talking about you actually getting around to fixing the roof sometime today!"  
  
"Oh, yeah. Right, I remember now." He scratched his head. "Who's roof are we fixing again?"  
  
The other three adepts almost fell over.  
  
"Garet, how do you even manage to get dressed in the morning?" Mia asked, shaking her head in amusement.  
  
Isaac grinned. "He's hopeless alright."  
  
"I'm not hopeless!" Garet said loudly. "And I can get dressed in the morning too, all by myself!" He looked down suddenly, as if he just realised something. "Hey, my underwear is on back to front..."  
  
This time they really did fall over.  
  
"Oh Garet, you really are hopeless!" Jenna said despairingly.  
  
He frowned. "Hey, it's not my fault! I know which way round my good pair of boxers go, but you're wearing those today!"  
  
Mia and Isaac raised an eyebrow as Jenna blushed a lovely magenta colour.  
  
"What?" She said, glaring at them both. "I can't help it, they're just so comfy!"  
  
"Right." Isaac didn't sound too convinced. "Of course they are..."  
  
"Just what are you implying?! I know for a fact that you wore Mia's underwear last Wednesday!"  
  
Mia suddenly broke into a large coughing fit and looked away, while Garet burst out laughing. Isaac on the other hand looked horrified.  
  
"How do you know about that?!" He demanded suspiciously.  
  
"Woman don't keep secrets from their girl friends."  
  
"They...don't?"  
  
"Nope, no secrets."  
  
Isaac and Garet exchanged extremely worried glances and simultaneously took a step back from their respective others.  
  
"Well, uh...we really should get on fixing the roof now." Garet began.  
  
Isaac nodded vigorously. "Maybe you guys should just go inside and wait for us."  
  
"Aw, but we want to stay here with you." Mia put her arms around Isaac's waist and pouted at him. "You do want me here, don't you? Surely you wouldn't want me to go away all sad and lonely?"  
  
"Well, erm...I, uh...y'see..."  
  
The female Mercury adept promptly burst into tears and buried her face in her terrified boyfriend's shoulder. "You don't want me here!"  
  
"No, Mia...I do, I swear! I just, erm...uh..." Unfortunately, the young Venus adept wasn't the best when it came to speaking, and all the words of comfort he wanted to say seemed to have gotten stuck in his throat. Mia continued to 'cry' loudly, shooting Jenna a triumphant grin from over Isaac's shoulder. The female Mars adept returned it, accompanied with an approving thumps-up.  
  
Garet stopped finally stopped laughing and looked at his fiancée, nodding his head. "You've taught her well."  
  
Jenna smirked evilly. "I know."  
  
"It frightens me..."  
  
"I know."  
  
Later, once the tears have dried and the roof has been repaired:  
  
Felix sat in his living room, looking even more vindictive and grumpy than usual. His normal afternoon game of Garet-baiting had been called off, due to weather conditions.  
  
The villagers called it Hurricane Jenna. Possibly the most deadly thing to cross paths with since a young man named Saturos got drunk and decided that taking over the world via the four lighthouses was a bloody good idea...  
  
Then the front door slammed, and the sound of arguing could be heard in the hallway. Felix immediately got up from the settee and went off to investigate.  
  
It turned out to be Garet and Jenna, and it looked like the latter was all set to whack the former into next Tuesday.  
  
"I won't do it Jenna, no way!"  
  
"Oh Garet, come on! Please?"  
  
"No!"  
  
"Please?"  
  
"No, no, no, no, no, and no!"  
  
Jenna whipped out her staff. "Garet, don't make me resort to violence here."  
  
"But you love resorting to violence!"  
  
"Damn right I do! So unless you go tell Felix..."  
  
"Tell me what?"  
  
Jenna spun around and hid her panic under a sweet smile. "Oh hello Felix, my dearest brother. I, erm, didn't see you there."  
  
"Obviously."  
  
"Yeah well...go on, Garet, tell him!"  
  
"I'm not telling him anything!"  
  
"Argh, you're so difficult!" The sound of Jenna's staff bouncing off of Garet's rather hard head echoed throughout the house.  
  
Ooh, twice in one afternoon, that was something of an accomplishment. Even for Garet who, if CAT scans were available in that period, would have more trauma marks on his skull X-ray than a boxer wearing a pair of pink, fuzzy- bunny slippers and a 'kick me' sign stuck to his forehead.  
  
Hmm, just what was it with the pink, fuzzy-bunny slippers today? It seemed like a rather unhealthy obsession for a young man to have...  
  
"Garet, are you still in there?" Jenna knocked on his head. "You've been spacing out like this all day."  
  
"Huh?"  
  
"Don't make me whack you again, Garet. You know how bad I feel every time I give you a concussion."  
  
"I thought you liked to cause me pain."  
  
"I do. But I don't want you to die, stupid. Then I'll never be able to get married."  
  
"Jenna, you're only nineteen." Felix interjected. "I'm sure you could find someone else. Actually, I could set you up with someone if you like."  
  
Garet glared at his future brother-in-law. "Anyone you set up with Jenna while I'm still alive will die slowly and painfully."  
  
"I'm sure they're quaking in their boots..."  
  
"You mean you already have someone?!"  
  
"Of course. There are loads of guys who'd jump at the chance to date my sister that I don't hate."  
  
"I want names. Names and addresses."  
  
"Well, first off there's Alex..."  
  
"I wouldn't go out with Alex if he was the last man on Earth." Jenna said flatly. "Plus, I think he's gay."  
  
Garet looked both surprised and relieved at this piece of news. "Alex is gay?"  
  
"Oh come on, didn't the hair say anything to you? Or the dodgy eye-makeup?"  
  
The not-the-sharpest-knife-in-the-drawer adept stopped for a minute to think about this. Then he said, "You know, I think you might be right there."  
  
"But I'm always right, aren't I, Garet?"  
  
"Uhh...of course you are."  
  
Jenna patted her fiancée encouragingly on the head. "Good boy. But next time answer quicker."  
  
"Ahem." Felix coughed loudly to get their attention. "As interesting as this conversation is, I was under the impression that you came over here to see me for a reason."  
  
"Ah. Now, about that..." Jenna looked uncomfortable. She cast a glance at Garet, but he was suddenly very interested in the polished, sandwood floor.  
  
"Jenna, what is it?" Her brother sounded moderately concerned now, and that was really saying something. The Venus adept rarely displayed any emotion besides contempt, and occasionally annoyance.  
  
But then again, he did have an odd passion for flying a kite at night...and that I have no comment on.  
  
"Well, you know that me and Garet are getting married, right?"  
  
Felix snorted in disgust. "No, I've just been living under a rock for the past few weeks."  
  
Jenna chose to ignore this, making a mental note to slap her brother around a bit later for his cheek. "So, you'll also then understand that it's normal for married people to live together, and not in separate houses like you might do if you're not married?"  
  
A pause, and a repressed shudder. Then, "Yes."  
  
"And that means you're fully aware that once me and Garet get married, we'll need somewhere to live together?"  
  
Twitch. "I am aware of this."  
  
"Then, you'll understand my motives when I tell you that Garet's going to move in here?"  
  
Another barely repressed shudder. "You mean, you want the three of us to live here, together?"  
  
"Well, not exactly..."  
  
"Then, what do you mean? After all, if we already live here, and Garet's moving in, then what about...oh." The penny finally dropped. Just like Felix's jaw.  
  
Garet smiled sheepishly and moved to the right ever so slightly so that he was standing behind Jenna. "Eh heh heh. No hard feelings, eh?"  
  
Twitch. "O-Oh...of course not...I'll go pack." And, moving in an almost zombie-like state, Felix turned and made his way up the stairs to his room.  
  
Once in the safe vicinity of what was only going to be his room for a short while longer, he flopped down on the bed and stared up at the ceiling. And, as the reality of what had just happened finally began to sink in, his temper began to rise.  
  
"Son of a b..."  
  
Felix's frustrated scream carried all the way to Vault, and even the villagers there wondered just what that oaf Garet had done now...  
  
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ME: (Laughs evilly.) And there you have it, folks. The beginning of something very scary indeed...  
  
REVIEW! 


	2. Garet's overactive imagination

ME: (Lying on the floor twitching.) So much sugar...so much sugar...  
  
CHIBI JENNA: What's wrong with her?  
  
CHIBI GARET: She overdosed on vanilla Coke and Cadbury's Crème eggs.  
  
CHIBI JENNA: Ah.  
  
ME: (Still twitching.) I think I'm blind...  
  
CHIBI JENNA: Does this mean we have to start the chapter for her?  
  
CHIBI GARET: Looks like it. Well, let's get a disclaimer done!  
  
DRAGON EMPRESS DOESN'T OWN GOLDEN SUN. I MEAN, COME ON PEOPLE, WOULD ANYONE BUY IT IF SHE DID?!  
  
CHIBI GARET: Okay, let's get the story up and running! (Snaps fingers. Nothing happens.) What's the deal? The chapter was supposed to start!  
  
CHIBI JENNA: Oh, you're so useless! I'll do it. (Snaps fingers.) Roll it, Louie!  
  
CHIBI GARET: Who's Louie?  
  
CHIBI JENNA: It doesn't matter.  
  
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"Oh for Jupiter's sake, why don't you two get a room?!" Ivan snapped irritably from where he was sitting cross-legged on the grass outside Isaac's house.  
  
Jenna, who was currently sitting on Garet's lap broke away from her fiancé's embrace (Cough, cough.) and stuck her tongue out at the young Jupiter adept. "Don't be so jealous, Ivan. Just 'cos Sheba won't have you doesn't mean the rest of us can't have any romance in our lives."  
  
"I think there's a difference between having romance in your life and getting it on in your best friend's garden!"  
  
"Hey, we're not getting anything on!" Garet replied indignantly.  
  
"Then where's your shirt, smart guy?"  
  
"It's too hot to wear a shirt today! Mars, lighten up, Ivan, it's got to be about one million degrees out here!"  
  
It was true that in the last day or so, the weather in Vale had gone from pleasantly warm and breezy to sweltering hot and boiling. And because of this, Garet and Isaac had taken to not wearing shirts. Of course, when handsome young men like our two heroes go shirtless, 'accidents' happen among the female population of Vale. Just this morning, there were several reported incidents that occurred when the woman in question hadn't been watching what she was doing.  
  
One such incident included an extremely large pair of hedge trimmers and an unfortunate little poodle, but we won't go into that...  
  
Isaac emerged from his house with Mia in tow. They were talking about something, but Mia seemed to be having trouble keeping her eyes level with Isaac's, and not allowing then to slip down to where his naked torso was gleaming with sweat in the hot sun...  
  
...oh how she could use a cold shower right about now. Maybe if she wasn't afraid of turning what was pleasant afternoon with her friends into a wet t- shirt contest (Which I'm sure the guys would all hate. Yeah right.) She would have just cast douse right on top of her head to cool down.  
  
But Mercury, did Isaac look good without his shirt on!  
  
Clearly, Mia wasn't used to seeing guys walking around town half-naked. After all, any man walking around like that in Imil was going to last about as long as Menardi would without her makeup kit.  
  
Shudder.  
  
So anyway, sitting down on the grass next to Garet and Jenna (But not too close.) she said to Ivan, "What are you guys talking about?"  
  
He snorted. "Only the little matter of those two," And the words were said as if they'd committed a true atrocity against humanity. "Getting a little busy in Isaac's garden."  
  
Garet dismissed the claims with a sad little shake of his head. "Our dear, little friend Ivan over here is just jealous that everybody's in a relationship and he's lonely and single."  
  
"I am not!"  
  
"Oh, I think you are."  
  
"I'm not!"  
  
"You are!"  
  
"What about Sheba?" Isaac asked, with a smug smirk on his face. "We all know you like her. Hell, after the stunt we pulled a few weeks ago I'll bet everyone in town knows you like her!" He and Garet high-fived, while the other three adepts looked on in annoyance.  
  
Jenna whacked her fiancé upside the head. "That wasn't funny, Garet, it was cruel and unnecessary!"  
  
"Cruel, unnecessary and absurdly funny."  
  
"Garet, I am this close to making you sleep on the couch 'till we get married."  
  
"Yeah right, Jenna. As if you could last that long without s...leeping beside me." Garet finished weakly, all the while hoping and praying to Mars that the concussion fairy was not due to visit him today.  
  
Alas, Mars was busy playing poker with his fellow gods at the time and couldn't get round to answering Garet's prayer. However, he did tell our favourite spiky-haired fool to leave a message after the bleep and that maybe he'd get back to him later, if he had time.  
  
Bloody gods, always doing things by their own schedules, no time for their loyal subjects at all.  
  
Garet wasn't too pleased that Mars valued a card game over his own personal well being, or perhaps this was just the concussion talking and he was now half way to la-la land and imagining the whole thing.  
  
Ooh, pretty fairies...  
  
*THUMP!*  
  
"Garet?"  
  
His eyes opened slowly, and he found himself staring up into the worried faces of his comrades. "Urgh, that was bloody painful, that was."  
  
Jenna took this opportunity to launch herself at him and hug him tightly. "Oh Garet, I'm so sorry! I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm..."  
  
"...crushing my neck bones to dust." He finished for her. She pulled away and instead wrapped her arms around his middle.  
  
"Better?"  
  
"Y-Yeah, crushed ribs are much better, thanks."  
  
"I'm sorry, Garet, really I am! I shouldn't hit you so hard."  
  
"Or so often." Ivan chipped in.  
  
"Or so viciously." Isaac added.  
  
Mia nodded. "And you probably shouldn't enjoy it so much either."  
  
All three were quickly silenced by a particularly vindictive death glare that would make even Saturos start crying like a little girl. And it had once...oh alright, twice...five times, are you happy now? She made Saturos cry seven times, and Alex seventeen times.  
  
Twenty...twenty-five...thirty-five times...she burned his makeup kit and killed his budgie...can we get back to the actually bloody story now?  
  
We can? Good.  
  
"So what are you guys trying to say?" Jenna demanded suspiciously, still holding Garet tightly (His face was dark blue by now, bordering on purple.). "That I'm too violent or something?"  
  
"Yes!" The three said in unison.  
  
"I mean, no offence or anything Jenna, but you do seem to take an extraordinary pleasure in, how can I put this?" Ivan thought for a moment. "Beating the crap out of people."  
  
"Nicely put." Isaac muttered dryly.  
  
"I have a gift with words."  
  
"Yeah, just like Garet has a gift of tact and gracefulness."  
  
At this point Garet would have dearly liked to make a remarkably quick- witted and scathing remark about his best friend's habit of wearing women's underwear, but it hurt to breathe, and he was worried that even the slightest movement under Jenna's patented vice-gip would be enough to shatter what was left of his ribcage into tiny, tiny little pieces that she would then take and use as cocktail sticks as she sat on her throne of human corpses and skeletons, laughing insanely at how her evil plans to take over the world had finally been realised...  
  
Okay, maybe she wasn't quite onto planning her throne design at this point in her maniacal schemes for world domination, but Garet had the nastiest feeling that if wedding plans were first, serving little cubes of cheese on cocktail sticks made from his bones at his funeral couldn't be very far behind.  
  
Dear Mars, he was marrying the Devil herself!  
  
Briefly the poor man wondered if it was too late to fake insanity and get the whole thing called off. No, that wouldn't work, no one would notice one more nutter in this crowd.  
  
But perhaps Garet was letting his imagination run away with him. Of course Jenna wasn't going to serve little cubes of cheese on cocktail sticks made from his bones, she hated cheese.  
  
Stuffed olives on the other hand...  
  
Oh, he was dead man.  
  
Maybe, and his skin crept at the thought, maybe she was like a black widow spider! And she was going to wait 'till she'd gotten a wedding and a couple of kids out of him and then BAM! She'd eat him alive and then go live with a rich billionaire, and they'd both sit together on a joint throne of human corpses and skeletons, laughing insanely at how their evil plans to take over the world had finally been realised...  
  
Hmm, Garet mused over this terrifying future for a second before coming to the obvious conclusion.  
  
And here comes the fairy again...  
  
*THUMP!*  
  
Concussion was such a bitch.  
  
Later!:  
  
Jenna was pissed off. And I don't just mean the "Goddammit Garet, how many times? It's just not possible for a man to fit over twenty mushrooms in his mouth without getting his jaw stuck!" kind of pissed. I mean super-duper- mega-pissed.  
  
Super-duper-mega-hyper-gamma-ultra -pissed.  
  
Super-duper-mega-hyper-gamma-ultra-multi-quasi-pissed.  
  
Super-duper-mega-hyper-ga...oh, you get the point already. Jenna was not a happy lady. And when Jenna is not a happy lady, bad things happen. Or at least, they usually do...  
  
But not today! Oh no, for you see, after Garet's multiple head injuries of the morning (He was still sleeping off his bear-sized headache well past lunchtime.) a small bet had been made. A bet that said that if Jenna lost her temper at all in the next week, she would stand to lose roughly three hundred coins.  
  
Damn that Isaac! He knew that Jenna never backed out of a wager, particularly if money was involved. In fact, there was one time in their earlier childhood when she had been goaded into a bet involving a tub of purple paint, a small fire and old farmer Jonah's prize chickens. And without going into any details, I can safely say that old farmer Jonah's prize chickens were never the same again...  
  
But anyway, let us not stray too far away from the original topic, which is the fact that Jenna is not a happy bunny, not at all. In fact, you could even go as far as to call her the anti-happy bunny.  
  
Oh, if only Garet in his concussed state of mind could see this. He'd probably concoct some bizarre alternate reality in his beleaguered mind where his darling fiancée was a thirty-foot monster in a pink rabbit suit.  
  
"Oh no, it is the anti-happy bunny Jenna! We must flee!" The people would cry as she stomped on their homes and ate their children.  
  
Children are very tasty with little stuffed olives on ribcage-cocktail sticks I hear...  
  
"Jenna?" Came a tired mutter from the living room doorway. It was Garet, with a large ice-pack on his head, wearing a pair of pyjamas with little ducks on them that he swore he borrowed from his brother ages ago, and weren't actually his. He didn't usually wear pyjamas, you see, but Mia said that he should just this once, to keep himself warm. And she was the expert on health and all that after all, so it was probably best that he took her advice.  
  
Jenna privately thought it was ridiculous, seeing as she'd never had a problem keeping Garet warm before.  
  
Oh get your minds out of the gutter, they're both Mars adepts! Of course they can keep themselves warm!  
  
Perverts...  
  
"Are you feeling better now, sweetie?" She asked him. Garet made his way over to the settee and thumped down, putting his head on her knee.  
  
"I'm dying!" He wailed pathetically.  
  
"Don't be such a big baby, Garet. You're not dying!"  
  
"I'm not being a baby." He stuck his thumb in his mouth. "My head feels like it's gonna explode!"  
  
"Well, try not to make too much mess when your head does explode. I'd never be able to get the stains out."  
  
"Then I will try to die as nicely and quietly as possible."  
  
"It's all I ask."  
  
For a while, there was a companionable silence between them. Then, Garet said, "Hey, where has Felix been the last few days?"  
  
Jenna shrugged. "Don't know. In fact, I haven't seen him since he moved out on Monday."  
  
"Do you think he's gone and killed himself or something?"  
  
"Oh, there's a cheery thought!"  
  
"Well, I'm just saying. He's either killed himself, or is living under a bridge somewhere." Garet's tired face suddenly became animated. "Like a troll!"  
  
Jenna rolled her eyes, but refrained from making the obvious comment about her fiancé's overactive imagination. "He's still in Vale though, Mia saw him yesterday. Apparently he was up near Kraden's old house, talking to trees.  
  
"Drunk?"  
  
"I can safely say so. Who talks to trees when they're sober?"  
  
"Kraden used to talk to trees. He'd talk to squirrels and things too."  
  
Jenna snorted as she remembered her former teacher's various weird habits. "Yeah, but Kraden was a few apples short of a picnic basket."  
  
"So is Felix."  
  
"He's not as bad as Kraden!"  
  
"Yet." Garet shifted slightly so he could look up at her, and smiled slightly. "But if he's off talking to trees already, I don't think he's very far behind Kraden in the crazy stakes.  
  
"He was just drunk."  
  
"I don't talk to trees when I'm drunk."  
  
"No, you just get all emotional and clingy."  
  
"Like you when you're sober?"  
  
Oh, the urge to whack him was incredible. But Jenna resisted, the thought of the three hundred coins she stood to lose firm in her mind. So, assuring herself that she wasn't really going to cause him any pain, she said, "Don't make me hurt you, Garet."  
  
He grinned wickedly. "Empty threat. I know all about your little wager with the others."  
  
Curse his unconscious ears! "Okay, so maybe I can't hit you, but I will make you sleep on the settee for a month."  
  
"Hah, I'd like to see that. You couldn't last a night!"  
  
Jenna scowled. It was just lucky for Garet that she wanted kids, or he might have soon found himself without the necessary equipment to do so...  
  
"I'm just kidding!" He said quickly, putting his hands up over his face to protect himself. "Please don't use my ribs for cocktail sticks again!"  
  
"Use your ribs for...what the bloody Hell are you talking about?!"  
  
"You remember, the whole get a wedding and a few kids out of me thing, before you kill me and cut me up into cocktail sticks to stick stuffed olives on at my funeral before you go and marry the rich billionaire guy who helps you take over the world." He looked up at her blank face. "You don't remember? Really?" Then realisation slowly dawned. "Oh that's right, it was all a hallucination, wasn't it? Wasn't it...?"  
  
"Garet, sweetie, don't take this the wrong way, but I really think you need to seek professional help."  
  
But Garet wasn't listening. "Was it a hallucination? Or-Maybe this is the hallucination! Oh no, that means..."  
  
"That's right." From behind her back, Jenna produced a large hacksaw. "But I'm afraid you've figured it all out too soon, so you're gonna have to die!"  
  
He screamed loudly, and sat bolt upright in bed...wait a minute, bed?  
  
Looking around, he saw that he was in fact, in bed, still wearing his pyjamas with the little ducks on them.  
  
Jenna sat up beside him, rubbing her eyes. "Whasamatter?" She mumbled, looking at him through half-shut eyes, clearly not one for being woken up in the middle of the night.  
  
"How did I get up here?"  
  
"You fell asleep downstairs and I used my psyenergy to carry you up here."  
  
"Oh." He let out a small sigh of relief. "That's good. For a second I was afraid I was going crazy or something, because I just had the weirdest dream. It was about you being evil and chopping me up to use my bones for cocktail sticks..."  
  
Jenna groaned and flopped back down onto the pillows. "Go back to sleep, Garet."  
  
"But I'm not finished yet..."  
  
"Go back to sleep, Garet." It wasn't a request, it was an order.  
  
"Oh, alright. I'll tell you about my dream in the morning." He lay back down beside her and put his arms around her waist. "Good night, Jenna."  
  
"Good night, Garet."  
  
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ME: (Recovered.) Wow, the sugar rush seems to have subsided. (Grins.) Well, that's good. Sorry 'bout the delay in getting the chapter out, but I've got exams right after the Easter holidays and my teachers have given me a shed- load of homework to do. (Grumbles.)  
  
CHIBI JENNA: (Coughs pointedly.) Can we stay on topic, please?  
  
ME: What? Oh, right. Once again I apologise for the delay, and I really feel I should apologise for the fluffy crap at the end there too. I feel ashamed for writing it, really I do.  
  
Next chapter: Jenna goes looking for Felix, and finds something truly disturbing. Plus, where the bloody Hell is Sheba?!  
  
ME: Well, that just about covers it. So, 'till next time folks, and you'd all better review! 


	3. Don't drink the pretty orange stuff!

ME: Hey everybody, happy Easter! I love Easter! (Bounces.) Don't you just love Easter, Chibi Jenna?  
  
CHIBI JENNA: Yeah, yeah, it's super. (Pissed off.) But that's not important right now. I want my Chibi Garet back, dammit! (Bursts into tears.) He's mine, and I want him back now!  
  
ME: Whoa, calm down! (Hands her a tissue.) I'll get onto that after I've done the disclaimer.  
  
NO, I DON'T OWN GOLDEN SUN. IF I DID, ALEX WOULD GET A HAIRCUT, THE GODDAMN HIPPY...  
  
ME: There we go. But before I start this chapter, there are some...choice comments for the previous chapter I wanna go over. So from now on, I'm gonna answer any questions or comments you leave in your reviews at the start of the chapter. I'm too lazy too go through all my reviews though, so just the ones that stick in my mind will be answered. Or the ones that amuse me the most. So, let's get down to business.  
  
? (What, no name or e-mail address?): My first flamer, hurrah! (Coughs.) Anyway, you think I'm insane?! Seriously man, there's a lot of stuff out there that's a Hell of a lot more scary than this is. I've even read Isaac/Saturos slash before. (Shudders.) And besides, I thought the last chapter was pretty funny too. Alas, my sense of humour isn't appreciated by everyone. And, although you might not have gotten it, the whole point of the last chapter was to stray dangerously off topic, to show Garet's overactive imagination, or something like that. I was quite sugar high when I wrote it. But anyway, since you're my first flamer you can have a cookie. (Gives cookie.) There. All better now?  
  
Storm Demon: Good to see you back again. But anyway, I'd give Chibi Garet back if I were you, 'cos Chibi Jenna is out for the kill and she hasn't had her Coco Pops this morning...  
  
Lumino: What was I smoking? Pot. (Giggles.) No, seriously, I only get high on sugar and caffeine, and both were very much in effect the day I wrote chapter two.  
  
Isaac says Booga: Yes, your title suggestion was pretty good and I may have considered it, if this story was just about Garet and Jenna's wedding. Unfortunately, I plan on continuing past the actual wedding into further areas of weirdness that will undoubtedly befall the GS crew. Until of course, everyone gets sick of me and my odd sense of humour and stop reading this rubbish.  
  
Triad Orion: The reason there are so many British words and phrases in this fic is because (Dun dun duuuuun.) I'm British! Or, to be more precise, I'm Scottish, but didn't think anyone would understand what I was talking about if I typed using my Edinburgh accent.  
  
So, gaunnie go an' read ma' new chapter then, pal?  
  
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It was a Monday, and Garet was in a surprisingly good mood, considering that fact that he had suffered a multiple concussion just two days before. A wide smile adorned his face, and he walked with what could be considered an unusual spring in his step.  
  
You see, today was a special day. Well, it was for him anyway. Today, he had managed to do something that Isaac hadn't (Insert gleeful gloating here.). He was now officially a member of the taxpaying population of Vale.  
  
Yes, that's right, Garet had gotten himself a job, and it wasn't a bad job either. An apprenticeship with Vale's resident weapons smith, Master Damien, was not something to be sniffed at. Plus, it was relatively well paid for just an apprenticeship.  
  
And there was also the added bonus of getting a whole selection of potentially dangerous tools at his disposal. ("Gods, have mercy on our souls!" The townspeople cried.")  
  
But the best thing was, though he wouldn't admit it to anyone but himself, this now meant that he was now the sole wage earner out of himself and Jenna, making him effectively the head of the house. This was good thing, Garet decided, because it meant that she would now have to stop causing him grievous bodily harm.  
  
Well, he hoped it would mean she would stop causing him grievous bodily harm, some respect had to be gained in the eventual acquisition of a job, right?  
  
And it wasn't as if he wanted her to stop hitting him altogether or anything, because that would take all the fun out of her life. Besides, it wasn't so bad. Sometimes he quite enjoyed it...but only in certain, special circumstances.  
  
And on that topic, I absolutely refuse to comment.  
  
Ahem.  
  
Anyway, like I said, as Garet walked briskly along the riverside, he was in an exceptionally good mood. The sun was shining, those odd, little purple birds that occupied the trees were chirping, and in general, all was well.  
  
Of course, in a village renown for it's eccentrics, oddballs and downright nutters, such a peace was not going to last long. In fact, Garet was counting down the seconds he had left before something strange and peculiar happened.  
  
Three...  
  
Two...  
  
One...  
  
*BANG!* Right on cue, a loud explosion from nearby almost made him jump out of his skin. Turning in the direction of the noise, he saw that it seemed to have came from...Kraden's house?  
  
Uh oh, that wasn't a good sign. Nobody ever went near Kraden's house anymore. It had been almost three years since the loopy alchemist had been seen in Vale, and his now vacant cottage was given a wide berth by almost everybody, for fear of getting turned into a toad or something equally weird by accidentally drinking one of the potions he left lying around.  
  
Of course, this led to Garet wondering just how stupid the general public of Vale was. I mean, come on now, who goes round drinking things they find in people's houses?! Especially if the person in question spent their days talking to trees and indoctrinating the minds of any poor teenagers he could get his hands on, before being kidnapped by a bunch of people even nuttier than he was and dragged around several continents.  
  
Obviously the guy who'd been dared by his friends drink the 'gloopy potion' had been missing the necessary grey matter that would tell any sensible human being that doing so was complete and utter idiocy.  
  
But still, from what Garet's sister had told him, his new skin colour (A delightful swamp green, by the way.) went just lovely with his eyes.  
  
So it's was really all's well that ends well, eh? After all, it doesn't matter if your skin's green, at least you're colour co-ordinated...  
  
Garet sighed heavily and changed direction, heading up towards Kraden's house.  
  
Something was up, and he fully intended on finding out what.  
  
Meanwhile, at Isaac's place:  
  
Lunch today started off as a civilised affair today for the adepts, which was an odd thing in itself. Everybody just sat and ate, there was no violence, fencing matches with breadsticks, arguments over the spelling of domino, or something equally ridiculous. And most noticeably of all, there was no noise.  
  
In short, it was very, very boring.  
  
And Isaac was the first to notice.  
  
Glancing around the table, he counted the people present. Going anti- clockwise, there was Mia, Jenna, Ivan and Sheba. But somebody was missing...Isaac scratched his head at this puzzle, before getting his hand swiftly slapped away by Mia, who informed him curtly that it was rude to scratch your head at the table.  
  
Now, whether it was the slap or something else entirely that triggered Isaac brain at that moment I do not know, but suddenly it hit him. He remembered who was missing.  
  
"Hey, where's Garet today?"  
  
Jenna looked up from her lunch. "I haven't seen him since breakfast." She said, looking thoughtful. "But he did say something about going to get a job."  
  
"Yeah, but it's not like him to miss lunch." Isaac looked faintly put out. "My mum always makes extra for you guys."  
  
"Yeah, but either one of them learned to cook she wouldn't have to go to all the trouble." Ivan said, smirking.  
  
It was true that neither Jenna nor Garet were renown for their skills in the kitchen. In fact, if appeared that their element made it almost impossible. Though Jenna always denied this, claiming that when she'd travelled (And I use that term very, very loosely.) with him, Saturos could make a pretty mean bowl of fried noodles.  
  
So if a hardened criminal like Saturos could cook, it was probably just Jenna and Garet who gave Mars adepts a bad name when it came to cooking. Of course, it could have just been that they spent far too much of their time doing other things...  
  
Yes, I know what you're thinking.  
  
Just keep it to yourself, alright?  
  
"You know, Ivan, it's not like you're exactly head chef at the Tolbi inn yourself." Jenna remarked, with a thin smile that made Ivan shift his chair slightly away from her.  
  
The smirk gone, he said, "You know, I was only joking, right?"  
  
A sigh. "Yes Ivan, I know. What, do you think that just one smart-arse comment like that is enough to set me off on a mad killing spree or something?"  
  
"Well, to be perfectly honest, Jenna, yes. Yes I do. You scare me."  
  
"Really?" It probably wasn't good that she looked pleased at this. Ivan swallowed nervously and slid his chair along a little further.  
  
"Hey, has anyone else noticed that it's only men that are afraid of Jenna?" Sheba said suddenly. Everyone at the table looked at her.  
  
"You mean you're not afraid of her?" Ivan asked incredulously.  
  
"No, not at all."  
  
"I'm not scared of Jenna either." Mia said, shaking her head. "Which is more than can be said for Isaac!"  
  
Isaac just about swallowed his fork. "You lie!" He spluttered. "I'm not afraid of anything except bunnies!" An odd silence filled the room at this statement.  
  
Ivan shook his head. "I don't know what disturbs me more. The fact that you're scared of rabbits, or that fact that you call them bunnies."  
  
"What's wrong with calling them bunnies?"  
  
"Well, it's not very...manly, is it?"  
  
"Oh, you want to talk about being manly do you, Mr It's-not-a-teddy-it's-a- mascot!"  
  
"You leave Mr Snookums out of this!"  
  
Isaac burst out laughing, and the rest of the table was quick to join him.  
  
"Mr Snookums?!"  
  
"That's really manly, Ivan!"  
  
"Yeah, please don't set Mr Snookums on us, whatever you do!"  
  
"Oh, shut up, the lot of you!" Ivan snapped, his face heating up. "I can read all your minds, I'll spill your secrets in a second!" The laughter died almost instantly.  
  
"You wouldn't dare." Jenna said, glaring at the young Jupiter adept.  
  
"Wouldn't I?"  
  
"No, you wouldn't, 'cos then I'd be forced to beat you into a small lump of mush. Understand?"  
  
A nervous gulp. "Yes."  
  
"Good."  
  
"You know what?" Isaac said suddenly. "I've changed my answer. I am afraid of Jenna."  
  
"I hoped you'd say that." The male Jupiter put a hand to his forehead in an exaggerated display of emotion. "Now we can be united in our fear!"  
  
"Oh goody." Isaac voice, on the other hand, was all void of emotion. "Just what I always wanted, to share some common bond with you."  
  
Mia hit him lightly on the arm. "Be nice."  
  
"Yes Isaac, be nice." Ivan smirked evilly. "You must do everything your girlfriend says after all.  
  
"Shut up."  
  
"Ooh, that's not very nice."  
  
"No, really?"  
  
"There's no need for sarcasm either."  
  
"I feel there is every need."  
  
"Yeah well, nuts to you! I don't n-" But Ivan was cut off sharply by the kitchen door slamming open, and Garet running in at top speed.  
  
Of course, being the gigantic oaf that he is, as soon as he entered the kitchen the Mars adept tripped over the doormat and landed heavily face down. "O-Ow..."  
  
Jenna was first out her seat. "Garet! What happened?"  
  
"It's the end of the world!" The poor man babbled. He sat up and stared wide-eyed at his friends. "He's finally gone psycho!"  
  
His fiancée raised a sceptical eyebrow, clearing thinking that 'he' was not the only one who'd gone psycho. "Garet, have you been drinking my nail polish remover again? I put child-proof locks on that cabinet for a reason."  
  
"No! He's gone crazy, I tell you!"  
  
"Who's gone crazy?" Isaac asked, still sitting calmly in his chair.  
  
"Felix!" Garet jumped to his feet. "He's moved into Kraden's house, and is playing with all the potions and stuff! He wavered a little, suddenly unsteady. "I knew I shouldn't have agreed to drink the pretty orange stuff..." And with this, collapsed on the floor.  
  
"Wow, he spends a large portion of his day unconscious, doesn't he?" Mia said, getting out of her chair and checking that her clumsy friend was still breathing. "Do you think we should wrap him up in cotton wool and stick him in an airing cupboard just to be on the safe side?"  
  
"Actually, I'm thinking that I should go along to Kraden's house and break every bone in my brother's worthless body." Jenna voice was quiet and deadly, and everybody else in the room (Who was conscious.) suddenly felt the strangest urge to start walking backwards out of the room. Very, very slowly.  
  
"Now Jenna, don't you think you're overreacting just a teensy, tiny little bit?" Isaac enquired, trying not to look terrified.  
  
"No I don't, Isaac." Very calmly, she picked up her staff and walked out.  
  
Everyone looked uneasy. For a woman who desperately needed anger management, she was handling this rather well.  
  
Something definitely wasn't right there.  
  
"So." Mia said, breaking the tense silence. "Who's gonna go after her then?"  
  
"Not me." Isaac, Ivan and Sheba said in unison. The three of them looked at Mia, whose eyes widened in horror.  
  
"No way." She said defiantly, shaking her head. "What makes you think I'm so keen to die?!"  
  
"Well, you're probably the least likely to be on the receiving end of a volcanic eruption."  
  
"That's a lie and you know it!"  
  
Isaac put an arm around her shoulders. "Oh come on, Mia. Will you not even do it for me?" His blue eyes were sad, and Mia just about melted. Thus proving that men are just as capable of emotional blackmail as women are.  
  
Damn it.  
  
"Fine, I'll do it for you, Isaac." She glowered miserably and picked up her staff, which was conveniently placed beside the door. "I'm such a bloody doormat..."  
  
Ivan patted the Venus adept on the back. "Nicely done. Way to tug on the heartstrings."  
  
"Yes, I'm quite pleased with my performance."  
  
"As you should be, it was an act truly worthy of the Actor's Guild of Angara. You should be on the stage or something."  
  
"Why, thank you." Isaac took a bow.  
  
"So, do you guys think Mia will be able to stop Jenna before we end up as character witnesses in a murder trial?" Sheba asked the two men.  
  
"Ah yes, it was Jenna, in Kraden's house with the candlestick..."  
  
"I'm serious, Ivan!"  
  
Isaac smiled reassuringly. "Don't worry, Sheba, Mia's great at stuff like this. She'll use her sinister guilt-trip power with words to have Jenna and Felix back on good terms before the day it out..."  
  
*KABOOM!* Suddenly, a massive explosion rocked the village. Hurrying over to the window, the three saw that the roof had been completely blown off of Kraden's house.  
  
"...then again, maybe not."  
  
And so, in a frenzied hurry to get their weapons and other such things, Isaac, Ivan and Sheba rushed out of the house, leaving Garet still lying unconscious on the floor.  
  
So much for a quiet day in Vale.  
  
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ME: MWAHAHAHAHAHA! What ever will happen now? Trust me folks, it's not what you think...  
  
REVIEW! 


	4. I said DON'T drink the pretty orange stu...

ME: (Looks miserable.) Hey everybody.  
  
CHIBI CHAO: Wow, who pissed in your cornflakes this morning?  
  
ME: (Grumbles.) I've got exams...  
  
CHIBI CHAO: Ah.  
  
ME: So hurry up and get the disclaimer done before I'm forced to take out all my anger on you!  
  
CHIBI CHAO: Eep. (Runs away.)  
  
NO, DRAGON EMPRESS DOESN'T OWN GOLDEN SUN. GODDAMMIT, HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO SAY IT?!  
  
ME: Right, and as is now the norm, before the story starts, it question time! Well, not just questions.  
  
Nuva: (Gasps.) You lie! Jenna and Isaac are not an item, they can't be! I won't believe it! (Fingers in ears.) La la la, I'm not listening...  
  
Mikaa: Wow, I've never gotten a 'prompt' review before. Thanks! But sadly, exams will ultimately slow up this fic's progress. (Is very sad about this.) And about all your questions (And there were a lot!), all will be answered in time. Mwahahahaha...  
  
Lala: Oh please, let's not give Garet and Jenna too much credit. It's not just them that have driven Felix crazy, it's a whole host of things.  
  
Storm Samurai (You've changed your name, good for you!): Drunk? Chibi Garet's far too young to be drinking! (Growls.) Damn it, stop corrupting my muses!  
  
Lumino: Thanks, but with you I'm never quite sure of you're complementing me, or just keeping me sweet 'til you find a suitable mental institution to stick me in...  
  
ME: Well, with that out of the way, let's get onto the next exciting (Cough, yeah right, cough.) chapter!  
  
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Isaac was a little ahead of Ivan and Sheba as the three of them rushed along the bridge and down the path the led to Kraden's house. The explosion had alerted other villagers too, and people were crowded round the steps that led to Kraden's house, though too cowardly to go up and get a better look.  
  
Isaac pushed past them all impatiently. "Stay back, everybody. This could be dangerous."  
  
"Oh, cut the hero crap, Isaac."  
  
"Shut up, Ivan. Jenna's involved, this really could be dangerous!"  
  
"Ooh, good point." Ivan suddenly didn't look so keen to go into Kraden's house. "Maybe we should just let it all play out then, no need to get involved..."  
  
Sheba tutted impatiently. "Ivan, stop being such a chicken."  
  
"I'm not a chicken!"  
  
"You are."  
  
"I'm not!"  
  
Isaac cut in impatiently. "Ivan, you're a chicken. Get over it."  
  
"Well, thank you very much. Now at least I know where I stand among my frie- " His rant was cut off abruptly by another small explosion from inside the house.  
  
Isaac looked slightly pale. "Uh oh. I think we'd better get moving!"  
  
And so, in true hero fashion (With the theme from Indiana Jones playing in the background.), the three of them charged up the stairs and...  
  
...came face-to-face with Mia and Jenna, both looking equally shell- shocked, for reasons Isaac was sure he just didn't want to know.  
  
"What are you guys doing here?" Mia asked, not quite managing to shake the 'I just saw your dad naked' look of sheer disbelief and horror.  
  
"We came to make sure Jenna didn't, uhh, y'know...kill Felix." Isaac said.  
  
But Jenna didn't look capable of killing anyone at that precise moment in time. Hell, it didn't even look like she was capable of stringing a few words together to make a coherent sentence.  
  
"Uh..." Ivan wasn't sure to be relived that the Mars adept wasn't on a mad killing spree, or worried for the very same reason. "Are you alright, Jenna?"  
  
"Pretty orange stuff..." She muttered.  
  
Well, that was informative.  
  
"Please tell me she had the presence of mind not to drink anything Felix made." Sheba said suddenly, looking quite worried.  
  
"Don't worry, she didn't. But Felix did, and it's had some...unusual side effects." Mia shuddered slightly.  
  
Isaac's eyebrows went so high at this point there was a real danger of them disappearing into his hair. "Unusual side effects?"  
  
"Oh, yeah. You really have to see it to believe it."  
  
"Well them, comrades, shall we?" Ivan asked, indicating the door to Kraden's house with his staff.  
  
His Jupiter intuition (It's a bit like women's intuition, only without the P.M.S.) was no longer telling him to run screaming for the hills for fear of incurring Jenna's wrath, and that it would probably be good for his self- esteem to go take a quick look at the crazy guy.  
  
Well, I suppose it would be good for anybody's self-esteem to discover first-hand evidence that proves that no matter how snooker-loopy you may be, there's always somebody faring much worse in the sanity stakes.  
  
"Yeah, alright then." Isaac said, smiling slightly. "I always do enjoy a good laugh." He turned to Mia and Jenna. "Are you two coming as well?"  
  
Mia shuddered again and shook her head, while Jenna just stared blankly off into space.  
  
"Pretty orange stuff..."  
  
"Uh, we'll take that as a 'no' then?" And so, giving Mia a quick kiss on the cheek, Isaac approached the door cautiously, Ivan and Sheba following closely.  
  
"Well, good luck, Isaac." Ivan pushed his friend forward. "Now, when you get in there, first make sure it's safe for me..."  
  
"Oh, no chance, this was your idea. So therefore, you go in first!"  
  
"That's not fair!"  
  
"Adventurer's code: rule number three, Ivan." Isaac quoted, pulling a small brown leather book from his back pocket. "The man/woman who suggests the expedition/suicide mission/trip to Tolbi red light district always has the privilege of leading the party/group/posse/drunken rabble."  
  
"Damn that book!" Ivan yelled. "It's been nothing but trouble since you found it in that jumble sale in Bilibin!"  
  
"Ah yes, the Bilibin jumble sale." Isaac put the book back into his pocket, a slightly wistful look on his face. "Good times."  
  
"So Ivan, are you going in or not?" Sheba asked, irritated. "'Cos as much as I love standing around outside the homes of lunatics, there are many other ways I could be spending my afternoon."  
  
"Well, someone's not in a good mood today..."  
  
"Ivan, just go, before I'm forced to pull a Jenna and break your legs."  
  
"No, not my legs, I need those to walk places!"  
  
"Well then, get moving!"  
  
"Oh, alright then." Shifting his staff to his right hand, he reached out and turned the handle. The door opened with a loud creak, and Ivan suddenly felt as if he was at the point in a book where the kid enters the haunted house, and is never seen again. (Spooky dramatic music this time, please.)  
  
Unfortunately, he never had time to muse over this for long, as he was quickly shoved through the door by Isaac and Sheba, who followed him in nervously.  
  
They scanned the room quickly, half-expecting to find Felix bouncing off the ceiling...  
  
But they didn't. In fact, there didn't seem to be anybody here at all.  
  
Over by the window there was a large, wooden table covered in jars, bottles and tubes of various colours and descriptions. In the corner furthest away from them, there was another, smaller table also with bottles on it. But all of these bottles seemed to be filled with the same thing, a strange, sparkly orange mixture...  
  
"Hey, what are you three doing here?" Asked a sharp voice from the left.  
  
Everybody jumped and turned in the direction of the sound, only to see that standing over y the window (They were positive there had been nobody there before.) was...  
  
"Felix! What the-What the Hell have you done to yourself?!" Sheba exclaimed, though her shock was completely understandable. Isaac and Ivan just seemed lost for words by this point.  
  
For Felix's hair was bright, peroxide ...blonde?  
  
What the Hell?!  
  
"Felix...what the..."  
  
"It was an accident!" He snapped irritably. "I was testing one of my potions, and it had some...unusual side effects."  
  
Unusual side effects? Hmm, that was what Mia had said earlier. Of course, she hadn't elaborated on just how unusual these side effects were.  
  
"But..." Isaac still seemed to be having trouble getting words out. "But why?"  
  
"It's a long story." Felix said, looking thoughtful. Well, as thoughtful as someone so blonde they could put Barbie to shame could look. "I needed a place to stay, and this old place was the only house in town where I wouldn't have to pay rent or anything, 'cos nobody dares go near it!"  
  
"But what about the potions?"  
  
"Ah, well, alongside getting myself a house, my second objective was to get my revenge on that blundering cretin, Garet." He scowled. "And seeing as I live here now, why not put all the excellent materials at my disposal to good use?"  
  
"So what happened with your hair then?"  
  
"I needed a guinea pig for my 'baby'." He picked up a bottle of the orange stuff and patted it lovingly, an action that made everybody else in the room move away from him nervously.  
  
"But wait!" Isaac was suddenly struck by a horrific realisation. Turning to Ivan and Sheba, he said, "Didn't Garet say he drank the 'pretty orange stuff'?"  
  
Ivan nodded his head slowly, not catching on. "Yeah, but so what? That only means that...oh!" He glanced at Felix, who was currently cradling the bottle of orange stuff as if it were an infant. "Oh dear Jupiter, no..."  
  
"If Garet drank the same stuff as Felix did, then he's bound to experience the same effects." Sheba said, eyes wide. "And that means..."  
  
"That means Garet is gonna wake up on my kitchen floor, as blonde as the sun in the morning." Isaac said, nodding grimly. "And boy oh boy, is he gonna be pissed about it!"  
  
An hour or so later:  
  
"Garet! You're gonna have to come out of there eventually!" Isaac thumped on his bathroom door. "You'll need to eat sooner or later!"  
  
There was no reply.  
  
"Oh, come on Garet, we promise we won't laugh at you." Jenna added desperately. "Please, just come out."  
  
The door cracked open slightly. "You promise you won't laugh?"  
  
"I swear it on my wedding dress."  
  
"Oh, alright then. If you...hey, wait!" Clearly Garet had found a flaw in his fiancée's oath. "You haven't even bought it yet!" The door slammed shut again.  
  
"Damn. Almost had him there." It seemed that although the female Mars adept had once again mastered the skill of coherent speech, she still wasn't back up to her Garet-manipulating standards.  
  
"Oh, you guys are useless." Sheba said, before turning her attention to the locked bathroom door. "Garet! I'll huff and I'll puff and I'll blow this damn door down unless you come out of there right now!"  
  
Garet didn't even bother to open the door this time. "You don't scare me, Big Bad Wolf. I'm never coming out!"  
  
"Gaah!" Jenna pushed Sheba out of the way, hands aflame. "That's it, I'm burning it all down!"  
  
"Jenna, no!" There was a scuffle in the hallway as everybody else rushed to hold back the angry young woman with the burning hands.  
  
"Venus, Jenna, calm down!" Isaac said, once his friend was safely restrained. "We'll get him out of there. But burning my house to cinders is not the answer!"  
  
"It's always the answer!"  
  
"Jenna, calm down." Mia put a hand on her friend's shoulder. "I think I know how we can get him out."  
  
The fire dimmed a little, but was not quite extinguished. "I'm listening."  
  
"This works on Isaac all the time. All you do is tell him that you'll..." The Mercury adept whispered something in Jenna's ear.  
  
"But how would...ah, I see...with raspberry sauce? Yeah, I thought so..."  
  
Sheba and Ivan looked on in bewilderment, while Isaac didn't look surprised at all.  
  
"Uh, raspberry sauce?" Ivan enquired, looking at Isaac for confirmation. "Is this something I want to know about, or will it scar me for life?"  
  
"Oh, this one's pretty damaging, mentally I mean. Although it's not quite as bad as the one involving a bucket of water and a fireman's outfit..."  
  
Ivan shuddered at this, and made a mental note never to ask questions about his friend's (Very.) private lives again.  
  
"So, you know what to do then?" Mia asked Jenna suddenly. Her friend nodded. "Then get to it."  
  
Jenna went and knocked on the bathroom door once. It opened about an inch or so with a loud 'creak'.  
  
One amber eye glared at her. "Can I help you?"  
  
"Garet," She began, smiling sweetly. "If you come out of there now, I'll..." And she leaned in and whispered something into the gap between the door and the frame.  
  
From inside the bathroom, Garet chuckled goofily. "Really?"  
  
"Uh huh."  
  
"With raspberry sauce and everything?"  
  
"Yup."  
  
"Oh, fine." The door opened further. "But you promised you wouldn't laugh, remember?"  
  
Isaac rolled his eyes impatiently. "Yes, we promised. Now, will you please come out there?" He shifted from foot to foot. "I really need to pee."  
  
"Right, okay. Deep breaths, Garet. Nobody's gonna laugh at you, they promised..."  
  
"For Venus' sake, stop talking to yourself and get out of there!"  
  
"Alright. Here goes..." The door opened fully, and out stepped one very, very blonde (And thoroughly pissed off.) Garet.  
  
Naturally, everybody fell to the floor laughing.  
  
"Garet!" Mia said, through her fit of laughter. "At last, your hair matches your I.Q.!"  
  
"But it isn't even blonde!" Ivan gasped, clutching his side for fear of dying of all the hilarity. "It's practically luminous yellow!" Everyone fell back laughing again.  
  
"No, this is cruel. Stop it you guys." Jenna got up and gave Garet a hug. "I'm sorry sweetie." She said, patting him on the back comfortingly. "But tell me, do you glow in the dark?" This, of course, only made everybody laugh harder. Jenna included.  
  
But obviously, Garet didn't find any of this funny. "I hate you guys." He muttered, watching with anger as his so-called friends picked themselves up off the floor. "Especially you, Isaac."  
  
"Hey, what did I do?!"  
  
"You promised me you wouldn't laugh!"  
  
"So did Jenna!"  
  
"Yeah, but I'm not allowed to hate her the most."  
  
"You're not?"  
  
"Nope. Unfortunately."  
  
"And what do you mean by that?" His fiancée's dark eyes flashed dangerously.  
  
"I didn't mean anything by that." Garet said quickly. "You both suck. Isaac just sucks more."  
  
"Well, if you know me as well as I think you do, we both know that's not true..."  
  
"I didn't mean it like that!" The male Mars adept shouted, frustrated. "But man, you really do have a one-track mind."  
  
"It's more fun this way."  
  
Garet shook his head. "You really need a hobby, Jenna. I mean, what're you gonna do all day when I'm at work?"  
  
"Work? You mean you got a job?"  
  
"Uhh, yeah..."  
  
Jenna hugged him again. "That's great, Garet!"  
  
"Yeah, good for you." Ivan nodded. "But you know you can't turn up for work looking like that!"  
  
Garet's face crumpled. "Son of a bitch! I'm gonna kill Felix! I hate him, I hate him, I hate him, I hate him..." And this quickly turned into a rant about how much he hated Felix, occasionally throwing in insults about Isaac, Alex, and those kids on the other side of the river who used to make fun of him about his crush on Jenna when he was twelve. Rotten little gits they were...  
  
"Hey, didn't Felix say that the potion only lasted for twelve hours?" Sheba asked, barely making herself heard over Garet's angry tirade.  
  
Ivan nodded. "Yeah, he did. But ssh, don't tell Garet that!"  
  
"Why not?"  
  
"It's much more entertaining to watch him suffer."  
  
"Ah." Sheba nodded knowledgably, and then the pair of them took a step back and watched Garet's rant.  
  
"Got any popcorn?"  
  
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ME: Jebus, this chapter took forever to get out. But like I said in my response to Mikaa's review, exams are evil and time consuming. So for a while my updates will become very infrequent. Erm, sorry 'bout that...  
  
CHIBI GARET: (Looking at reviewers.) Do you think they'll be pissed off?  
  
ME: Nah, I doubt it.  
  
CHIBI GARET: Yeah. You're right.  
  
ME: C'mon, let's go. (They leave, oblivious to the rabble of angry reviewers with pitchforks approaching the castle.) I mean, who's afraid of reviewers anyway? 


	5. The young and the violent

ME: Hi ho, chaps! The exams are over, and I'm in a jolly good mood!  
  
CHIBI CHAO: What Enid Blyton novel did you just fall out of?  
  
ME: Nah, I'm only kidding Chao. Anybody who still speaks like that deserves to be shot...(Coughs.) But anyway, no more exams for a whole year, I'm so happy!  
  
CHIBI JENNA: Good Mars, call all the news channels, she's happy!  
  
CHIBI GARET: Yay! Happiness means cookies and an end to the mental abuse!  
  
ME: (Holds up a Monopoly board.) Says who?  
  
CHIBI GARET: Waah! (Hides under the kitchen table.)  
  
ME: Ahem. We need a disclaimer!  
  
ROSES ARE RED.  
  
VIOLETS ARE BLUE  
  
I OWN NONE OF THIS.  
  
SO YOU'D BETTER NOT SUE!  
  
ME: Eh, where did that come from?  
  
CHIBI CHAO: That's Chibi Garet's attempt at writing poetry.  
  
ME: (Sweatdrops.) Uhh, right. Let's just go straight to the questions.  
  
Mikaa: Jebus, what is with all the questions? It's like I already told ya, guy, everything will be revealed in time. (Cackles evilly.) But seriously, Felix will die an old, lonely man with thirty or so cats to keep him company...no, I'm kidding. Really.  
  
Nuva: (Fingers still jammed firmly in ears.) La la la, I'm not listening...  
  
MIDNIGHT C: LOL, interesting image, isn't it? I had some misgivings about making Garet blonde at first, but decided that sometimes it's much more fun to make my favourite character suffer. Mwahahahaha...  
  
Hotgirl515: Nyah nyah, I'll be as mean to Ivan as I want, and you can't stop me! So ha! (Sticks tongue out at you.) And then I'll be mean to Alex, and then Felix, and Kraden, and Sheba...(Goes on like this for a long time.)  
  
Zidanet: (Shudders.) Trust me, you just don't want to know.  
  
?: So it's you again. I accept your comments as I do all flames, but one question; why the Hell did you come back and read more chapters after flaming me already?! I mean, come on now, you don't like it, you don't read it. 'Tis as simple as that. Oh, and by the way, that's a very creative name. You must have stayed up all night to come up with something so brilliant. (Coughs.)  
  
Person who, unfortunately for him, has a crush on Jenna: Erotic references?! (Bursts into a fit of giggles.) Dude, I'm 14, I couldn't write anything erotic if I tried for a month! I just leave everything to the reader's imagination, and you sir, have a very dirty mind. Erotic references, honestly. (Still giggling like crazy.)  
  
ME: Tally-ho then, chaps!  
  
ALL MUSES: ...  
  
ME: Oh, just start the bloody chapter!  
  
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What was it about Thursdays?  
  
Jenna tapped her fingers against the arm of the chair and stared off out the window. It was raining.  
  
Again.  
  
Bah, stupid bloody rain. As if the weather in Vale wasn't bad enough.  
  
"Hey look, it's raining again." Garet said, coming into the living room and throwing himself down onto the settee beside Jenna.  
  
"Oh, well spotted. If there was a prize for making pointless observations, I'm sure they'd give it to you."  
  
He made a face. "Now, now. There's no need to be so nasty. It was a harmless comment."  
  
"Yeah well, I can do without your brilliant comment." She shifted slightly so her head was on his shoulder. "I'm bored!"  
  
"Now who's making pointless observations?"  
  
"Do you even know what observations means?"  
  
"Yes, actually, I do!" From his pocket, Garet pulled out a large, red leather-bound book. On the spine in shiny, gold letters were the words, 'The full and extensive new Angaran dictionary and thesaurus.' And in smaller letters beneath, 'Now expanded to include all three hundred slang words for that certain part of the male anatomy. Yes, that one. You know what we're talking about. It's the only reason you bought this book'.  
  
Jenna blinked. "How did you manage to fit that in your pocket?"  
  
"Trade secret, my dear. Now..." Garet and opened the dictionary and flipped through the gold-tipped pages. "Observations, observations, observations...ah ha! Here it is!" He smirked smugly. ""Observation: Noun. The act or an instance of observing."  
  
"But you still can't tell me what it means!"  
  
"I just told you!"  
  
"No, you didn't!"  
  
"I did!"  
  
Jenna whacked Garet over the head with her staff. "Don't argue with me!"  
  
"Ow!"  
  
"Serves you right!"  
  
"Bah, nuts to you, woman!" He stuck his tongue out at her.  
  
"Well, that's mature."  
  
"Oh yeah? Well I'm rubber and you're glue..."  
  
"Hello there!" Mia's annoyingly cheerful voice cut through Garet's obviously adult and well thought-out retort (Ha ha.). "Isn't it a lovely day?"  
  
"The Hell it is!" Garet growled, glancing out the window. "It's been raining non-stop!"  
  
"And that's a good thing!"  
  
"Mia, my friend, we love you and everything. But please, shut up." Jenna said, glaring over at where the blue-haired Mercury adept stood in the doorway. "Your cheerfulness on a downright bloody miserable day like this does nothing but give me a headache."  
  
"Well, somebody's not in a good mood today!"  
  
"No really, you think?"  
  
Mia rolled her eyes. "Oh, fine. Let's all just sit and be miserable." She sat down on the sofa next to Jenna.  
  
The other woman sighed in relief. "Thank you."  
  
"Hey, wait. Something's not right here." Garet looked over at Mia suddenly. "Where's Isaac? You two have been practically joined at the hip recently."  
  
Jenna smirked. "Yeah, or joined at the..."  
  
"He's out job-hunting!" Mia said quickly, knowing where the female Mars adept was taking the conversation. "Apparently, the idea of Garet being employed before he was is a rather bitter pill to swallow."  
  
Garet smiled smugly. "Yes, well, I am a rather remarkable individual."  
  
"I find it more remarkable that anybody would be stupid enough to employ you."  
  
"Ooh, touchy subject is it? Afraid your boyfriend's gonna become a dead- beat free-loader are you?"  
  
"No, but I'm afraid that you'll soon find yourself being on the receiving end of another arse-kicking from a woman."  
  
"Well I'll be buggered, Mia just swore." Garet looked both shocked and pleased. "Looks like I'm rubbing off on you afterall!"  
  
"Yes, you're such a bad influence." Mia retorted dryly. "However else would I learn such a dreadful obscenity without your help?"  
  
"Now that was just mean. Maybe it's Jenna that's rubbing off on you, not me."  
  
Jenna's left eye twitched (Eerily similar to her brother's eye-twitch when he found out he was being 'evicted'.). "And just what is that supposed to mean?"  
  
Garet's amber eyes widened in fear. "Nothing! It meant nothing." He got down on his knees. "Please don't kill me, I'm a good boy really!"  
  
Mia raised an eyebrow at Jenna. "Wow, you got him whipped good."  
  
The female Mars adept grinned. "You want lessons?"  
  
"Sure!"  
  
Garet got up and sat back down on the chair, sighing heavily. "Poor Isaac."  
  
"Hmm." Jenna moved again so she could sit in Garet's lap. "I'm bored!"  
  
"You've said."  
  
"I'm bored too!"  
  
"Oh, yay. I'm stuck indoors with two bored women, both prone to male- targeted bouts of violence. How fun." Garet sounded like he had just been given the death sentence.  
  
"Come on, it's not all that bad." Mia said, smiling. "We could always go outside. Rain is fun!"  
  
"Woman, slap yourself right now. Rain is not fun. Rain is anything but fun. Rain is- hey!" Garet sat up so quickly Jenna was almost sent flying out of his lap. "I know what we could do!"  
  
"What?"  
  
"Get drunk!" He rubbed his hands together in anticipation. "I have three bottles of whiskey in the kitchen cupboard."  
  
"Oh no you don't." His fiancée poked him roughly in the chest. "What have I told you?"  
  
The male adept groaned. "I know. No mass alcohol consumption, except for special occasions and...other things."  
  
"Damn right. Don't you go dare turn into an alcoholic on me!"  
  
"Well, I really don't want to. But I fear that being married to you will turn me to drink sooner or later."  
  
Twitch. "Oh, don't push me, Garet. I can still rip out your spleen and play it like a bagpipe before the day is out." Jenna stood up. "Now f you'll excuse me, I'm gonna get a drink of water." She went into the kitchen.  
  
Mia leaned over closer to Garet. "I take it that anger management book you bought her hasn't worked then?" She asked in a hushed tone.  
  
"Nope. All it's done is make her develop that odd facial twitch."  
  
"Yeah, that's kinda creepy."  
  
He shivered a little. "Tell me about it."  
  
"Back!" Jenna said, re-entering the living room. Mia and Garet immediately sat back.  
  
Garet looked at his fiancée as she sat back down on his knee. "Hey, Jenna, I've been thinking."  
  
"A dangerous pastime." She replied.  
  
"For Garet anyway." Mia added with a nod.  
  
"Alright, alright. Smart-mouth comments are not appreciated here." He scowled at the women. "But anyway, it's Ivan's 18th birthday soon. Does that count as a 'special occasion'?"  
  
"Well yeah, I guess."  
  
"Yippee!" He stood up suddenly, causing Jenna to actually fall out pf his lap this time, hitting the ground with a 'thud'! "Oops..."  
  
Mia looked over to where Jenna was sprawled on the floor. "Oops is right." She said, nodding grimly. "You're gonna suffer for that one, Garet."  
  
"Eh heh heh." He smiled nervously. "It was an accident!"  
  
"Oh, Garet..." Came a voice from the floor that sent shivers down his spine.  
  
"Y-Yes?"  
  
"Help me up please." Hmm, her tone was sweet, and therefore deceptive.  
  
"Uhh, okay." Garet bent down and helped Jenna to her feet, eying the woman suspiciously. He dusted her off. "Better?"  
  
"Much. Thanks." She smiled, but the eye-twitch was there, still giving Garet reason to be afraid. Very, very afraid. "Oh. Don't look so worried, I'm not going to hurt you."  
  
"You're not?"  
  
"No." Suddenly, the pleasant demeanour changed, and suddenly, to Garet anyway, she seemed to grow horns and breathe fire. "I'm going to kill you!"  
  
"Eep." Spinning on his heel, Garet turned and bolted out the room. Jenna followed him closely, shouting bloody murder and holding great, big handfuls of fire.  
  
"Grr, you get back here right now, Garet! Garet! I said get back here! I'll kill you!"  
  
Groaning, Mia slapped her forehead and sunk lower into the nice, cream coloured settee.  
  
"That is, without a doubt, the most dysfunctional romance ever!"  
  
Mwahahaha, later!:  
  
"Well, any luck on the job market then?" Mia asked, lying down on the bed and staring up at the ceiling.  
  
"Nah, nothing." Isaac replied, not looking up from his book. "And the relentless rain didn't help much either."  
  
"Mercury, am I the only person who likes rain in this entire Goddamn town?!"  
  
Isaac looked up from his book suddenly, raising an eyebrow. "Did you just say 'goddamn'?"  
  
His girlfriend blushed slightly. "So what if I did?"  
  
"Well, it's just...cool, is all."  
  
"Cool?"  
  
"Uhh, yeah." The blonde looked moderately uncomfortable. "Cool."  
  
Mia frowned. "Cool, what do you mean by tha...oh! Right." She blushed again. "It's, erm, 'cool'."  
  
Isaac blushed too. "Yeah."  
  
There was an awkward pause. Then, "How long is your mum gonna be in Bilibin? She's visiting her cousin, right?"  
  
"Yeah." Isaac put the book down by the bedside table. "She'll be gone for at least another three days."  
  
Mia grinned at him. "Well, that's good enough for me!"  
  
And the light went out.  
  
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ME: Well, there ya go. Not my finest hour, buy I think of this chapter as just filler really. A little bit to keep the readers from beating me to death with point sticks. (Shudders.) But anyway, next chapter! Ivan's 18th birthday! Mwahahahaha...it will be interesting...  
  
CHIBI GARET: Speaking of Ivan, where was he this chapter? And Sheba too?  
  
ME: Ah, now, that will definitely be explained next chapter! And notice how they're both conveniently gone at the same time? (Coughs.) Not hints dropped though...  
  
REVIEW! 


	6. Important author's note! Read or die!

ME: Hey everybody! Erm, I know that you're all waiting patiently for the next chapter and all, but I'm afraid that you're gonna have to be patient and wait just a little bit longer. I'm going away on the 15th, and Ch 6 isn't anywhere near ready to be out before then. As soon as I get back though, I swear I'll get right back in the game and write the next chapter real quick!  
  
But until then reviewers, this is goodbye!  
  
Dragon Empress is off on holiday, woohoo! 


	7. Revenge, games and, erm, bunnies?

ME: It's alive! (Laughs maniacally.) It's still alive!  
  
CHIBI JENNA: (Sweatdrop.) Yes, we can see that. Will you just go ahead and do the disclaimer and stuff already?  
  
ME: Alright, alright. (Clears throat.) disclaimer time!  
  
NO, DON'T OWN GOLDEN SUN. I DO OWN CUBA THOUGH. ANYBODY WANT SOME CIGARS? NOBODY? OH, ALRIGHT THEN...  
  
CHIBI GARET: And for the fear of being sued by any Cubans out there, the Empress doesn't actually own Cuba either. She just owns the entire world in her head...  
  
ME: Quiet, you. (Gags Chibi Garet and ties him to a chandelier.) Now, the questions!  
  
Ivan "I'm cool!": Actually, contrary to popular belief, I don't hate Ivan, nor even dislike him. And I certainly don't make him "suck". He's an alright character, but at times I just think that he's a right snarky, little git, and as a humour writer, feel a need to exploit this at all times.  
  
Midnight C: Ah, Garet was only joking when he said Jenna would turn him to the booze...I think...  
  
Phishykiss: Oh, I would never hurt Garet seriously. (Whistles innocently and looks away.) What?  
  
Ivan's Kitsune: I'm updating, I'm updating! Spare me from what ever horrible torture you have envisioned for me!  
  
Mikaa: Argh, Isaac/Jenna, Garet/Mia, evil! Evil I tell's ya! Evil! (Dodges heavy things thrown by I/J, G/M shippers.) Nyah nyah! (Gets hit by a chair.) O-Ow...  
  
Nuva: (Blinks.) Ah, now, you seem to misunderstand this little section I have at the start of each chapter. This part is merely my replies to reviews left by readers regarding previous chapters. I thought I explained that pretty clearly when I started this. (Scratches head.) Ah well. But, erm, about the whole 'War of the ships' deal in this section I will say only this, couples in Golden Sun are established purely by opinion. There are no real foolproof signs of any ships in the game, so it is left to the player's interpretation. You may interpret it any way you like, but I happen to favour Flameshipping over all. Sorry, mate.  
  
CHIBI JENNA: Ooh, preachy.  
  
ME: Shut it. Unless you fancy hanging from the light-fittings too?  
  
CHIBI JENNA: Erm, no thanks. I'll be good.  
  
ME: Hmm. See that you do. Ahem. (Coughs.) Now, on with the chapter!  
  
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Shopping is fun.  
  
If you happen to be female, that is. Or Alex.  
  
Ivan unfortunately happened to be neither of these things, and yet he still found himself in Vault, on his birthday no less, being dragged round shop after shop after goddamn, bloody shop by the blue-haired shopper from Hell. And all the while, her boyfriend quite happily dawdled along behind her, singing some random song under his breath about, "Death to the bunnies."  
  
Now, Vault was hardly on par with Tolbi when it came to purchasing cheap, pointless tat (Collosso ceramic collector's plates anyone?), but for a small town it did a good enough job.  
  
And Mia revelled in it.  
  
And Ivan hated it.  
  
And Isaac was bored by it, but disguised that by adopting a dreamy look that made him look like he was either drunk, or suitably drugged up and didn't even know where he was.  
  
And Garet and Jenna...well, nobody actually knew where Garet and Jenna were at this moment in time. But given their track record, Ivan had a nasty suspicion that they were back at the inn doing...stuff.  
  
Shudder.  
  
"Oh, Isaac come look at this!"  
  
Ivan was suddenly snapped back to reality by the sound of Mia's voice, as she had discovered what was most likely something else of little use and great expense.  
  
The woman had a spending disorder, it was rather frightening.  
  
She had taken Isaac's hand and brought him closer to the shop window. "Isn't that cute?"  
  
The Venus adept took one glance at the display in the window, and then recoiled in horror. Puzzled by this odd behaviour, seeing as Isaac was not a man easily scared, Ivan looked up and read the name of the shop. It read, 'Vault pet store', and beneath that there was a banner saying, 'Rabbits on sale!'  
  
And indeed, in the window there was a large, wooden hutch, which seemed to hold at lest twenty-five of the adorable, floppy-eared things.  
  
Isaac looked pale.  
  
This was truly his version of Hell.  
  
"Keep them away, keep them away!" He shifted slightly so that he was hiding behind Mia. "It feels like they're all watching me!"  
  
"Well, of course they're watching you." Mia replied sensibly. "You're probably frightening them, making a scene like that."  
  
"I'm frightening them?!"  
  
"Oh, come on, Isaac. They're not that bad." Ivan said, grinning. He put on a false, simpering voice. "And they're just so cute too!"  
  
Isaac shook his head. "No, no, no, that's what they want you to think!" He exclaimed vehemently. "First you think they're all nice and adorable, and then wham! You've got your head stuck down a rabbit hole and all your friends are laughing at you!" He stopped his rant suddenly. "Uh oh, I've said too much now... forget that last part."  
  
But an evil gleam now shone in Ivan's violet eyes, and he was snickering wickedly. "So that's what happened..."  
  
"No, nothing happened!"  
  
"That's why you're afraid of rabbits, isn't it?" The younger adept looked positively gleeful now. "You got your head stuck down a rabbit hole when you were a kid!" He promptly collapsed in a fit laughter, gaining some very strange looks from passers by. "Hahahahahaha-Isaac, hero of Angara- hahahahaha-got his h-head stuck down a-hahaha- down a rabbit hole! Hahahaha..."  
  
Isaac glared at him sourly. "Thanks for the sympathy."  
  
"Hahahahaha-y-you're welcome! Hahahahahaha..."  
  
"Aww, poor Isaac." Mia was far more sympathetic, and gave him a hug. "You should've said something before though, I mean, no sense splitting hares over it..." And then she dissolved into a helpless fit of giggles too.  
  
Hmm, seems that even the nicest of us have an evil side too.  
  
And of course, Ivan found this doubly hilarious. "G-Good one, Mia." He said happily, getting to his feet and wiping his eyes. "Hee hee hee, splitting hares...that's genius..."  
  
Mia took a bow. "Why, thank you."  
  
"So, you all done having a right old laugh at my expense then?" Isaac asked them grumpily, but still keeping one wary eye on the evil bunny cage.  
  
"I'm sorry, Isaac. But it was just too good an opportunity to pass up." The Mercury adept kissed him the cheek apologetically. "But you've got to admit, that was pretty good!"  
  
"Oh yes, quite hilarious. Let me just jot down 'Laugh loudly' beneath 'Go hang myself' on my to-do list."  
  
"Ah, you know I'll make it up to you." She said, taking his hand again. "But for now, we're not done shopping!"  
  
Ivan and Isaac's faces crumpled simultaneously.  
  
Oh, joy...  
  
Meanwhile, back at the inn:  
  
"Jenna, you can't do that! It's illegal!"  
  
"Oh, stop being such a baby. It's perfectly legal!"  
  
"I'm telling you, it isn't!"  
  
"Oh, fine, I'll go get the rule book then." Jenna got up off the bed, picked up a small book from the dresser and began to flick through the pages. "Aha, here it is! Page 34, says right here that castling is perfectly legal in chess!"  
  
(Mwahahahahaha, bet you thought they were doing something else, huh?)  
  
"Tch, alright, alright. You win."  
  
"Of course I do. I always win." Jenna sat back down on the bed and promptly switched her king with her castle. "You know who wears the trousers in this relationship, my darling."  
  
"Yeah, I do. And I wash and iron them too."  
  
Jenna smirked at this, but didn't comment. "It's your turn."  
  
"Hmm." Garet looked thoughtful for a moment, and then moved his left castle ahead three spaces. "Your move."  
  
Jenna moved a pawn. "Wonder what the others are up to now."  
  
"Dunno." Garet took her pawn with one of his knights. "Oh yeah, more power to you, horsey-man!"  
  
"It's called a knight, Garet." Jenna swiftly knocked his knight off the board with her queen. "And now he's dead."  
  
"Ouch. That was nothing short of vicious. My poor horsey-man..." The male Mars adept paused to survey the chessboard. It looked like he was losing pretty badly. "But did you see the look on their faces this morning when we said we were staying back here?"  
  
"Hee hee, yeah. I'll bet they think we're in here doing...stuff."  
  
"Yeah. One question though." He moved his remaining knight back next to his king. "Why aren't we doing...stuff?"  
  
"Beats me." Jenna moved her queen five spaces to the left. "Checkmate."  
  
"Dammit!"  
  
Yeah, and that's quite enough of that. So, meanwhile:  
  
Felix privately thought himself a genius.  
  
Yes, a genius. None of that modestly crap or anything.  
  
He was, straight up, a complete and utter genius.  
  
But of course, such genius isn't always appreciated by one's peers...  
  
"Felix, I don't think this is such a good idea." Sheba said quietly. "I mean, I'm all for getting revenge and that, but do we really need to resort to this?"  
  
"Of course we do." The tall Venus adept replied flatly. "How else would we do it?"  
  
"Well...couldn't we just ignore them for a month or something?"  
  
"Oh, don't be ridiculous. We weren't invited to their drunken, birthday party weekend, we need a better revenge than that!" Felix peered at his blonde companion curiously. "Say, why didn't they invite you anyway?"  
  
"I'm too young apparently." Sheba rolled her eyes. "And, as usual, Mia was worried about the legal stipulations of underage alcohol abuse."  
  
"Bah, legal stipulations! Who cares?"  
  
"Obviously they do."  
  
"Well...then surely you realise that what we're doing is a perfectly justified means of getting revenge?"  
  
"I suppose so." Sheba bit her lip, looking faintly worried. "But do we need to get Ivan too? He didn't want this. He didn't even have a choice!"  
  
Felix glared at her. "If we get one, we have to get them all!" He picked up a large bottle of sparkly orange stuff. The were sitting in the Vault Inn's basement, and all around them there were various other bottles, all filled with strange, sparkly liquids, but in different colours. "So be ready!"  
  
""I'm ready, I'm ready. Stop getting on at me." The Jupiter adept picked up a bottle of sparkly purple stuff and examined it carefully. "But you're sure this stuff won't kill them or anything?"  
  
"Positive." Felix nodded. "I wouldn't kill my sister." He paused suddenly. "But Garet on the other hand..."  
  
"Oh no you don't! You're not allowed to kill anyone, not even Garet."  
  
"Spoilsport."  
  
"You'll thank me when you're not in jail." Sheba replied coolly. "Or dead yourself, after Jenna got her hands on you..."  
  
"Ooh, good point." Felix looked thoughtful. "Though I can't help but wonder what she would do to me if I did kill Garet."  
  
"I think she'd beat you to death with a blunt teaspoon."  
  
"Nah, most likely she'd cook me using Pyroclasym 'til I was crispy and golden brown."  
  
"And then serve you up with a side of salad?"  
  
"Exactly." He shuddered slightly. "And I don't even like green vegetables..."  
  
Sheba fought the urge to roll her eyes again. I mean, she knew Felix was a few bricks short of a lighthouse already, but man, he really needed to prioritise.  
  
And she wasn't too keen on the idea of temporarily poisoning her companions either. But alas, a girl's gotta do, what a girl's gotta do.  
  
Err, or something along those lines anyway...  
  
# # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # #  
  
ME: Okay, that was awful. I'm sorry. But it's just taken so long to get back into writing this...  
  
CHIBI JENNA: (Hanging upside-down from the lights.) Stop making excuses for yourself.  
  
ME: Y'know, I can easily gag you too, Chibi Jenna.  
  
CHIBI JENNA: No, no, there's no need for that...  
  
ME: Well then, shut up. (Coughs.) Anywho, like I was saying. This chapter was bad, but I promise things will get very...interesting next chapter.  
  
CHIBI JENNA: But only if they review, right?  
  
ME: Right!  
  
Review! 


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